Feeling better amid the changes
I hardly rode my bike at all this summer and fall. While attempting my cross-country tour, I got hit by an old lady in western Minnesota, 9 days and one morning into the ride. The bike was ruined, and my body wasn't in the best shape. No broken bones or anything but I was cut up pretty bad, and had a lot of internal bruising...my left knee still doesn't have any feeling in one area. After that I got pretty depressed, thanks to, among other things, having my long-time dream crushed (literally), and I just had no motivation to do almost anything even after I healed.
However, after months of being depressed, I'm finally feeling good about life. In part it's a resurgent interest in meditation, but mainly it's just positive thinking. Instead of my usual negetive thoughts (which truly exemplify the "being your own worst enemy" thing), I decided the other day to not do that any more. Yeah, just that simple. I'm a strong supporter of the idea that the will is stronger than any addiction. So, in the same thread, I stopped smoking, a habit I picked up this summer. Not that I smoked all that much, but I was noticing cravings more and more. See? All it takes is a decision. It's all mental.
Anyways, this new positivity brings with it the urge to simplify again. Two nights ago I was feeling so good, and so awake, that I couldn't sleep. I stayed up till 2 just cleaning my room. I went through my things and threw out a whole garbage bag of things, plus setting aside a bunch of old clothes for donation. In doing so, I realized how little I own, at least for a young adult in this consumerist western world. I have 2 empty drawers in my dresser of 4 drawers, for example. I'm paring down my music collection, trading and selling off unwanted CDs at used record shops, and eventually I'm going to just donate the rest to the library (or friends if anyone wants them). I'm going to sell off a bunch of old books too. I just really feel good when I get rid of things. I'm like, the anti-consumerist.
I'm looking at things in this way: the things we own, own us. At least, they do when we aren't able to give them up. This goes for activities too, like smoking or eating unhealthy food, which is why I quit the first and am working on quitting the second. I figure, we all die someday and can't take these things with us, so why should we let them dominate our lives? Also, a cluttered house is a reflection of a cluttered mind/soul, which I don't intend to have. Of course, I couldn't be happy without music, so I'm keeping probably half my music collection. I love to read, so I'm keeping some of my books, but won't be buying more (that's what libraries are for). But the idea is to progressively continue to simplify my life, to reduce my possessions down... perhaps someday eventually to a "need" level, which is nearly unheard of in Western society (needs being simply: food, water, shelter, clothes, fuel for cooking/warmth. That's it).
I'm doubtful I'll ever go that far. But then, who's to say? I'm weird enough to sell my vehicle in favor of walking and biking (even though I had to buy another for getting to school... I feel guilty as hell about it too, like I sold out); and really, already having the attitude, it's not a stretch to say that someday I'll REALLY simplify that way.
However, after months of being depressed, I'm finally feeling good about life. In part it's a resurgent interest in meditation, but mainly it's just positive thinking. Instead of my usual negetive thoughts (which truly exemplify the "being your own worst enemy" thing), I decided the other day to not do that any more. Yeah, just that simple. I'm a strong supporter of the idea that the will is stronger than any addiction. So, in the same thread, I stopped smoking, a habit I picked up this summer. Not that I smoked all that much, but I was noticing cravings more and more. See? All it takes is a decision. It's all mental.
Anyways, this new positivity brings with it the urge to simplify again. Two nights ago I was feeling so good, and so awake, that I couldn't sleep. I stayed up till 2 just cleaning my room. I went through my things and threw out a whole garbage bag of things, plus setting aside a bunch of old clothes for donation. In doing so, I realized how little I own, at least for a young adult in this consumerist western world. I have 2 empty drawers in my dresser of 4 drawers, for example. I'm paring down my music collection, trading and selling off unwanted CDs at used record shops, and eventually I'm going to just donate the rest to the library (or friends if anyone wants them). I'm going to sell off a bunch of old books too. I just really feel good when I get rid of things. I'm like, the anti-consumerist.
I'm looking at things in this way: the things we own, own us. At least, they do when we aren't able to give them up. This goes for activities too, like smoking or eating unhealthy food, which is why I quit the first and am working on quitting the second. I figure, we all die someday and can't take these things with us, so why should we let them dominate our lives? Also, a cluttered house is a reflection of a cluttered mind/soul, which I don't intend to have. Of course, I couldn't be happy without music, so I'm keeping probably half my music collection. I love to read, so I'm keeping some of my books, but won't be buying more (that's what libraries are for). But the idea is to progressively continue to simplify my life, to reduce my possessions down... perhaps someday eventually to a "need" level, which is nearly unheard of in Western society (needs being simply: food, water, shelter, clothes, fuel for cooking/warmth. That's it).
I'm doubtful I'll ever go that far. But then, who's to say? I'm weird enough to sell my vehicle in favor of walking and biking (even though I had to buy another for getting to school... I feel guilty as hell about it too, like I sold out); and really, already having the attitude, it's not a stretch to say that someday I'll REALLY simplify that way.
posted by Brandon at 10:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home